1:14 am
Sunday, September 04, 2011
today affirmed something that had been lurking at the back of my mind -
truly i'm absolutely alone in this world.
it's sad that reality has sunk in -
those with whom i could connect heart to heart are no longer physically with me.
those whom i trusted, loved and shared much joy and sadness..
time really changes things.
and it's sad when i realise that.. i didn't matter enough.
it's not that i'm feeling a lack of self-confidence now or anything..
it just made me realise that much as i give my all to the few i treasure most,
i realise i can't change ppl after all.
it's not that i expect to.. but surely they would have considered how i felt.. right?
they mattered to me.
and still do..but..
ppl will always disappoint.
can u blame me if i intentionally distance myself?
the last one year has shown me greatly the pain of disappointment from those closest to me..
those i least expect such stuff from.
sometimes i really do wonder what God is teaching me..
still i know all the more that closer to Him i must be.
my journey of faith continues..
each step just feels heavier now.