11:30 am
Friday, July 08, 2011
a year on..
and there are still some stuff that i can't let go off.
don't think i ever can for some..
*stares at monstar*
RAAAHHHHSSSS.
it's irksome coz i realised how much of a bubble i was in when i was still in a relationship.
kinda like i was in my happy zone and able to focus on other stuff.
of coz i couldn't whenever we quarreled but him being away helped reduce our quarrel time i suppose.
though there were times i terribly missed him and couldn't focus as well.
still those are always the challenges of being in a long-d.
haha.
i think we just shared a very strange love-hate relationship,
didn't make us any less of a couple any-o-how
now as my friends around me graduate and i realise how uncertain the future ahead of me lies,
i wondered why didn't i feel all these that much when my friends were graduating last year.
and i realised..
well,
being in a relationship with him meant i knew i could count on him for support.
i had one less aspect of life to focus on.
through our struggles and quarrels and just knowing him for long meant in spite of the eventual deception exposed,
i still trusted him.
trust-
i realise, is such a tiring process to build up.
it's not just time
but emotional input as well.
i think i just thoughtlessly fell into the cycle of dating without realising that those chillin outs to me meant as dating to others.
wad.the.world.
i just wanna be with someone i'm comfy with
someone i know well
someone i trust
someone who amuses me
someone who loves me deep.
Dear God,
could you please send a cupid's arrow to strike when i least expect it with someone i trust?
sighhh it's like relationships are happening all around me and seems to be the topic on everyone's lips these days.
i'm happie for my friends of coz.. they are so happie =)
but it just .. really gets to me now.
ARGHS.