10:34 pm
Monday, July 04, 2011
today was a great day of rest
staying at home has new found pleasures for me..
especially when travel takes its toll
all i just wanna do is rest at home
laze around
be a sloth.
hahaha.
today was just really great!
cleared up my thoughts
and boy did i think alot
it's scary how manipulative the world can be
and seemingly subtle in its execution
it dawned upon me that indeed in thailand
it was an incredible blessing to be one of only 2 groups that got awarded A+ for our first project though its weightage was rather small
it nonetheless accounted for something
the other group was elaine's and the next nearest grade was A-
no A's.
thailand was a place i entered with much fear
in that the only person i knew well was elaine and it was the same for her
i was worried about project groupings
clicking with people
etc.
worrywort i always am. =P
but God was just abundantly gracious as always
paving gateways for us to befriend our juniors and eventually getting to know our peers
and at the end of the trip when we had to choose our final project group
there i was worried that elaine and i would be the "leftovers" coz though we had made friends, we didn't belong to any particular "clique".
yet, God was gracious as always.
within minutes of announcing that we could form our project groups,
we got approached by 2 of the more "zhai" guys.
though i later found out that one of them knew our grades before knowing us..
which.. also having heard of his character before..
made me feel a little uncomfortably "used".
then again, we weren't "leftovers" and got a rather choice topic instead so praise God! =)
indeed
that's just one of the many testimonies of God's desired yet unexpected provisions and graces upon my life..
how could i not trust Him with all my heart too right?
and so,
especially after tonight's happenings,
i made up my mind -
jogoh's gonna follow Him wholeheartedly.
i shall not be weighed down anymore.
as i walked home and pondered over my decision
as i walked through the alley that i used to take those photos at
as i looked to the sky and saw the few stars twinkling away
i felt..
my heart racing.
i shall not dwell in this ambiguity anymore.
i shall not run away again.
i shall not let my heart be easily misled.
i just hope..
i won't falter when i tell him my thoughts and feelings.
and i shall pray he understands me and my sovereign God.
heart don't fail me now
courage don't desert me
come on jogoh!