4:49 pm
Saturday, January 15, 2011
dear Lord..
i guess..
i guess i just never really fully understood what giving up meant.
giving up my all.
my all for Your Only.
surely the scales are severely tipped right?
i always ask - why then does it hurt so much..?
today it struck me that death is never always swift,
but rather a painful slow longdrawn process at times.
but when there's a reward worth waiting for,
the process becomes miniscule comparatively.
dying to sin is never easy.
turning from old ways is arduous and painful.
i've always begged and pleaded to wake up and not be reminded throughout the course of the day
to not feel a wondering and a pain
it's been so long and yet i always ask -
when Lord? when will and can it end?
today I finally realised that God never answers me directly in the simplest way possible.
i'm far too precious and important for Him to spoil me like that with such spoon fed ways.
i'm discovering.. and hopefully growing.
and much as i hope that it'll all end in the blink of an eye,
i know otherwise.
faith.adjustments.obedience.