last nite was such an emo nite.
talking to josey was the finale..
arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.i dunno how to say it.i'm actually..at a lost for words.so many seem to be running through my mind right now i can't seem to grab hold of a single moment.

had fish and co dinner with my dad.
i love me dad.
loads.
he's so sweet..he's like spoiling me to the max..ok in the sense like he just ask me wad i need and he'll buy.he knows how i'm such a starbucks junkie and he just gave me some money to go buy even when i didn't even say anything.and he ate the tomato rice i cooked without complaining even though it was kinda like..soggy.overestimated the amt of water.i got kinda burnt in the process too coz i didn't know how hot the pan was until i threw the onions in and the pan spat one bit back at my arm.i nearly screamed murder.
another thing why my dad's so sweet is coz while en route to parkway,he was like..'i feel withdrawal symptoms'..coz he missed my mum's naggin.ok then he got kinda embarrassed and said 'dun tell ur mummy ok?' haha.he's so sweet la.i wonder if my husband will miss my naggin too when either of us aren't around..guess i haven't really been giving my dad much attention too.like whenever he's home,i'm either cooped up in my bedroom or at the laptop.like now.i hardly ever talk to him,only at meal times.but then again,there isn't much to talk abt.tried discussing econs with him but wells..that was a flop.feel really bad..
he misses my mum and i miss my sis.
the 2 chatterbirds are gone and the house is just silent.
tmr it'll be even quieter when even the hum of channelnewsasia news is gone with my dad flying off to indonesia.

arrrrgh.

i didn't know time was flying past so fast until i tried to look at the papers i have next week.and i realised that my non-existant revision plan is down to the pits.i haven't gone past act5 of country wife,the rest of lit is in the pits along with human and phy geog and i can't get past part 2 of macro econs.i haven't even touched mirco yet!!*pulls hair*
in the past when i messed up the exams,it was always 'it's ok,there's still another one.exams just never seem to ever end'. but now i've just realised tt i can't say the same anymore.
this is the prelims,the prelude to the As.
this is the finale,the end,that's it.
after tt,there'll no longer be anymore school based exams.
ARRRRGH!!!
and i'm totally messed up.
i just think abt daryl muggin in his corner,jlow poured over her tys and i just wanna bury myself in heaps of blankets.
which was wad i did today amidst learning abt fiscal policy.
darn escapist.
i'm so...6 feet under.

i feel so...overwhelmed now.
i dunno wad i'm doing.
it seems i haven't got an ounce of energy left to care about others even though i want to.
somehow it's like the ppl around me are kinda emo now.

talkin to josey made me remember my past..
and prob helped me to sort of come to terms with it.
maybe it was something always present in my mind yet i never really allowed myself to give it much thought.everything always seemed to come to nought.maybe i felt cheated.but then again,maybe i thought too much.
wadeva la.i ain't got the emotions left for dwellin on the past.
i'm living in the present for the future.

but it's hard not to think abt the past..
and feel the..

arrrrrrgh.







happie 19th esmond


Blessed18th Jac!!
[at last!hahaha]