the girl
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nothing fancy
nothing much
just some thoughts
to be in touch
- aiting -
hullo
7:04 pm
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
today has been such a daze to me.like as if i have been put on some sorta partial sedative.should have gone to school..would have taken my mind off things.even so..i couldn't wake up today.wanted to down at around 10+ but that was the time i woke up instead.fell back asleep soon after again.i think i'm old..running just wears me out totally.i think it's just 100m.my pet event,the anticipation,the psyching up,the run itself..everything just drains me out physically and mentally.and i dun even know just how exhausting it can be until after the race.when i reach home and my body just says goodnight and concusses on the bed.strange too..all i had all day was a hotdog bun and strawberry yanyan but my body doesn't seem to wanna eat.i dun even feel hungry.i dun even feel real.i really feel like i'm trapped in a different time space,as if there's this thin membrane separating me from the reality.i'm cheering,but tt's not my voice.the pain i feel in my throat,is that really from the cheering?am i really there?everything just feels so surreal to me.took a different route to cck today,hah.as if that would make things different.still..the first thing mtan had to talk to me abt the minute i stepped into the stadium was about my race yesterday.i had to violently blink the tears away.he kept sayin tt he keeps thinkin abt my race and tt he look at my race and feels that i should have come in 2nd..how everyone was just focusin on jlow and not on me coz they were already assured of me..[disappointment]and then he went on to say i could have done a 13.3s [he said 13.4s yesterday..] and i would have gotten not just like 8th but prob be the 5th qualifier..[tears welled]omg.if it had been some other person,he/she would have been kicked by me in my spike shoes to jupiter already.but mtan's different..he's the one harping on it but he also told me to get over it.-_-"[the irony]and someone from my nightmarish last day in ac resurfaced at cck today.the vivid recollection about how he stopped by my table on tt fateful last day to ask if i was really going to another jc before he spat out 'TRAITOR' at me before walking off still haunts me..such a bitter taste it leaves.-wadeva-amelia rocks to the max!!if i were a supplier of trophies,i would award her 123983274987 truckloads of trophies for being such a brave athlete.she's the last and youngest qualifier for 400mH and she's only 15 la!she rocks to the max.sing ying was mighty brave too for even daring to go out there and try and event she's not familiar with.today's a day of bravery coz ben ran an event he's not even familiar with or trained much for and sanjay fought to the very end.that's wad victorians are made of.dinner.