nothing fancy
nothing much
just some thoughts
to be in touch
- aiting -
hullo
2:09 pm
Thursday, August 25, 2005
- broke -
as of now,i am officially broke.spent 3 hours scouring esplanade,bras besah,raffles city n orchard for my sis present only to arrive at popular with the purpose of renewing my 3 year membership n finding out to my utter dismay that i only had $14.95 left.which meant tt i was $0.05 short of the fee.yes 5 cents.FIVE cents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*mphfbgsmpe* now i have to come back another day!bleah.
i'm so broke la.n my legs are super tired n pain from the 2 hurried days of shopping.n tmr's weights trng!!!*screams in pre-empt pain*
today sherene broke my heart.she told me i was u-s-e-l-e-s-s. =( yes,she spelt it out. haha but tt's coz i dun really pay attention during lecture n today ryan came back from his mc n asked everyone at the table [actually it's just ying n sherene] where did the lecturer stop at except for me.so sherene turned to me n said 'did u notice tt ryan asked us but not u?' n to my defense i said 'but tt's coz i didn't come tt morning!' n she went 'but he didn't know!' n i was stupefied.so she continued,'only one word: u s e l e s s.' wah.wad little left of my ego totally disappeared man. but i know she was doing it for my own good.she's been trying to get me to study since goodness knows when.but argh.it's tough.n i'm hurt.
now i'm feeling quite down coz i finally told myself during maths class today to be realistic n not deny the truth anymore. - my maths suck - there's no denying it.n i dun wanna carry on suffering in this self-imposed torture anymore.it's a sign tt i was denied the chance to take maths in ac coz i was a grade short of qualifying.everyone keeps telling me tt i'm mad to drop maths which will always be followed by the inevitable question- 'why not econs?!!'.i'm so sick of it man.like hullo?!!am i gonna go to a super market in the future n whip out a calculator to tabulate how the company arrived at this price using algebra?!!or am i gonna mark my students work n use complex numbers to calculate?!!at least i see the principles of econs taking place around me,esp since today's lecture enlightened me,i think it's so much more realistic than maths.i'm not gonna survive in the real world with a super knowledge of maths!at least i'll survive longer with a bare understanding of econs.i'm so lost in maths,which is now complex numbers,n i understand nuts except it involves 'i' which is the notation for imaginary numbers n the only numbers tt go through my head in tutorials are all made up as well coz i know nuts.i can't take it anymoreeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! i really wanna drop it.i dun wanna waste my parents money going for tuition n ending up having to drop it eventually like wad happened last year for science.n i've never felt so demoralized over maths for such a long time as now.maths is such pure torture.having a nice,caring n fantastic tutor like mr koh is of little help.the subject is too much for me.wo shou gou le.