nothing fancy
nothing much
just some thoughts
to be in touch
- aiting -
hullo
5:36 am
Thursday, November 11, 2004
to go or not to go?
today's the start of my 'break' week.i so need it.i just can't stand the thought of having to get up to a brand new day of o's.it totally dampens my day and ruins my mood.i loathe the o levels.why can't the exams end?!!!i am so looking forward to the end of o's.
i have been rather slack la i guess.i didn't really prepare tt much for my o's.i dunno.i just wanna avoid it.i guess tt's kingshaw speaking in me...'somehow,that when you spoke a thing out loud,that was that,and if you didn't,there might be some mistake,some hope.Saying it,made it be true.' each day i wake up and wish tt there were no o's to be taken today and i try my best to deny the fact.it really sucks la.my 'preparations' or wad little of it has been merely cramming for it the night before.and if the paper is just a small one,like today's geog mcq,i just sit back and relax do a lil bit of tys and flip through the tb and tt would be it and then i would go watch tv.which was why my mother yelled her head off at me last night.i think my entire nieghbourhood must have heard it la.coz she just had to stand atop the staircase and blast her wrath at me,so it echoed all over the place.like wadeva.i think i'm a silent stress bug.like i'm totally not stressed about my studies coz i think it's just,well,like that.i think i'm just stressed coz i'm doing something i dun wanna do.and it really gets to me.i wanna avoid reality.
i'm still pending the appeal decision of vjc.i really hope i get in.but at the rate i'm going for my o's,it would be a real miracle if i get in eventually.hcjc has offered me a place even though i did not appeal to go there,but i'll still have to go through the principal's decision there first before i can really get in.serene gave me a real shock last saturday when she called to tell me tt hwa chong selected me to be one of the 6 the track and field team selected to go through the appeals and asked if i wanted to accept it.i was like *__*.i told her i would tell her my decision the next day.i was on the bus home from church then.i knew my parents would definitely say yes.which they did.my mother was especially glad.her eyes practically lit up.and she was actually willing to tear herself away from her korean shows and follow me up to hear the details.ritee.but i actually didn't want to.coz i thought tt would jeopardize my chances of getting into vjc.but well,after talking to yuxin,and with the strong support from hy and ridiculing laughter from jade,i decided to go ahead and just appeal to hc and leave everything in God's hands.i know my path has already been planned out by God,but well,i'm still keeping my fingers crossed tt His plan involves me being in vjc.hahaha...i love it there la.everything's so yellow.ok that's a shallow reason,but i just love the school.i dunno why.haha...i like hc too la,but everyone just gives me this super shock look and keeps telling me tt the culture is really different there from cedar's esp,and tt i'm such a slacker,i would prob go nuts being in the stress environment there.and of coz,tt i'm such a banana and totally not chinese and they can't imagine me in a hc uniform.thanks.it's just a few shades darker than vj's wad.no big diff. i'm actually seriously thinking about going hc if i can make it.it's super convenient coz there are 2 buses which go straight there in like 20min and the bus stop is just right outside my house.unlike to go to vj,there's only ONE bus which takes a thousand years to come and 45min to travel there and the bus stop is a million miles away and i hate to walk.hc track team is also better than vj's too.now tt i didn't know.just found out.but well...tt melanie chin is going there,or i hope she is coz then i'll have a higher chance of getting into vj,haha,and well,argh,she was so snotty during nats la.i seriously wouldn't really like to train in the same team as her.haha...actually i would like to join the indian cultural society in hc.hahahaha...i know,that's like a total shocker coz i'm rather racist at times.but like hey,i do like to watch hindi movies and stuff too ok.anyway,i won't have the chance to join la,coz the track team trains 3 times a week and i would be mad to go take up another cca,no matter which jc i go to.unless i give up track...
sigh...it's pouring now.wad a way to start my break...